dude i'm inner monologue high
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
