so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
