dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We left the knife in your bed.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
