I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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