What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
