I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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