did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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