I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
