Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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