Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
