I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
