'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
