i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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