I want to stick my p in your. b.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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