Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
