after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
