Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
