nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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