there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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