you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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