I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
