After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
