Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
