I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
