I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
