Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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