so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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