my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
