forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
