Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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