I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
