STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
