Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
