I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
