took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
