o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
