Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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