I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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