Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
