PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
