She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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