I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
