i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
