If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
