every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
