Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
