I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
