How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
