sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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