'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
