Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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