They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
